"just a dirt bag under the
weather and over rated."
I had a dream
I had a dream where I was in a lounge. I was with Es, Paul, Jean and Crystal. I took a seat. Crystal introduced me to her friend whose name I wasn’t sure of. I think it was Molly. Molly is stunningly gorgeous. A timeless gorgeous that belongs on runways, movies, and magazines. The type of gorgeous that you never expect to meet. I kept her company as everyone else got drinks. I’m pretty sure she was into me, because the only thing that took her hand off my leg or arm was her laughter. I liked her. When the gang came back with drinks Molly left to use the rest room. I suppose this was around last call, because we immediately left to continue drinking at Crystals house. We went. Molly wasn’t there. We drank more. Relaxed. When we left for the car the street was flooded with high school kids all with luggage waiting mindlessly. One girl was waiting right next to the passenger door. “Excuse me” Jean said to the girl who gave no reaction at all. Jean waved her hand in front of the girl, nothing. Jean held the girls shoulders and guided her out of the way. Then rolled the girls luggage toward the trunk. I helped her put it in. And nothing from the girl. She was entranced. I was perplexed. Jean took shotgun, Es was driving. Paul was across the street at my aunts house saying “Hi.” When I got out the car to get Paul, so did Es and Jean. My brother and mother came out of my aunts house and I went with them instead. In the car I became very saddened realizing that I didn’t get to say “bye” to Molly, or her number… come to think of it I wasn’t even sure that was her name. I reached for my phone to ask Crystal to give Molly my number, but once I looked at it I saw I had a text waiting for me. It read “Hey funny guy. This is Mol. When am I gonna see you? Lets face time.” I was very, very happy. Once I got home I took off a beanie that I didn’t know I had on. I had to fix my hair for this ‘Face Time’ that I don’t know how to operate. Looking in the mirror the only hair that I had was a thin strip toward the left of the crown. To the left side of my head was what I thought to be a bright red baseball sized tumor. It concerned me less than the right side of my head that was melted off. It looked like one big ear. I was in a frenzy. Right then and there I was dying. I found my brother and mother. They looked at me like my appearance was nothing new. Like this behavior even was something they were accustomed to. Had I looked like this my whole life? Or was this some sort of terrible mutation that took place on the car ride home that they could care less about? The idea of having looked like this talking to Molly was nice. It would explain her hands on me; versus some sort of charm I’d had on her. After this flood of relief washes over me, after I feel grateful for having true friends and family, I hear something in the hallway.
My brother asks my father “Did you order a five-hundred-thousand dollar DVD?”
“Yes, this one.” Father turns on the TV to a Time Life infomercial selling a 10 year commemorative DVD featuring both the European concert tour, and hours worth of never before seen footage of Aaron Carter. And Aaron Carter isn’t even dead.
That’s when I woke up.
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My Top 10 Comic Film List
With all the comic book movies coming out this year (Ghost Rider, Amazing Spider-Man, Dark Knight Rises, Avengers, Etc.) I took a moment to reflect on my favorite films based on comics and graphic novels, then I pit them against each other to make a list of 10.
10. The Incredible Hulk (2008)
9. Blade (1998)
8. the Punisher (2004)
7. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
6. Superman (1978)
5. X2 (2003)
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
3. the Dark Knight (2008)
2. Watchmen (2009)
1. V for Vendetta (2005)
Rachel Dawes is a fucking bitch!
I’m watching Batman Begins and the more I see Katie Holmes the more she upsets me. Here’s why.
1) Giving Bruce shit on his birthday. Like “Hey Rachel What are you doing here?” “Just here to drop off my present. What are you doing today?” “Gonna relax before the party. You’re coming right?” “No, I’m going to work because I’m such a high and mighty fucking bitch!”
2) Giving Bruce a guilt trip for goin swimming. “Oh, hey Rachel. Long time no see. Oh, yea, I just got back in town. Your number changed. Alfred didn’t know. That’s a nice dress you got. Gonna go party? Oh, dinner. Cool. Cool. Me, oh I just went swimming. I look like a mess. I’m not always like this-“ “It’s not about what you are on the inside, its what you do that matters. Like me, I’m a fucking bitch.”
3) Giving Bruce shit for wanting to kill Joe Chill. “Your my friend Rachel. And I trust you. Since I was 8 years old I wanted to kill Joe Chill. It was the only thing I’ve lived for. But I can’t now. I was going to. I realize how weak I was, and I’m confessing this to you.” “I am a fuuuuucking bitch!!!”
4) Giving Bruce shit about being Batman after saying she wants to fuck. “Oh my god Bruce. You’re so fucking sexy. You’ve done more for this city with your philanthropy and as Batman while sitting on the toilet than I have during my whole time at the DA’s office. I love you Bruce. I loved you when we were kids, I always have and always will. I want you so bad.” “Cool babe, lets fuck.” “But you’re not Bruce. Your Batman, and I’m a fucking bitch.”